Transitioning A Parent Into Assisted Living
Communication, Care, and Consideration are Key.
If there’s a top 10 list of the most difficult situations we face in life, transitioning a parent or other senior loved one from their home to a senior living environment is surely on the list. But there are ways to help ease the situation and it starts with clear and compassionate communication.
First, it’s important to have the conversation with the senior before the situation arises, months or years before moving is even a consideration.
Open up the communication and broach the subject by asking such questions as “If in the future, should you need to move from your house, what kind of new home would you like to live in?” Or, “What are your wishes for later in life, should this house become too much to take care of?” These kinds of questions can get the conversation started and make it easier should a move become necessary in the future.
Surely, some people may take offense to such questions, since thinking about the future is an uncomfortable topic, but it’s better to talk about that ‘elephant in the room’ and get the conversation out there. If your parent is willing to have the conversation, then you’ve opened the door to an understating and can start to plan for their senior care, with them, for the future.
Second, make sure you’re continually aware of your parents’ well-being, mentally and physically.
Determining when it’s time for a senior to transition to a facility where they can receive the best care is often noticeable. “Children can generally see clear warning signs when it is time for their parent to enter an assisted living home or a nursing home,” says Kevin Flynn, president of Healthcare Advocates. “The sad reality is that it often takes an adverse event to make the elderly parent realize that such a placement is needed.”
But it’s not always an adverse event, such as a major medical emergency that raises flags, however, often it’s general day-to-day activities that we notice.
“When a parent is unable to care for himself/herself and needs help with everyday things like bathing, dressing and making meals, it may be time to consider a nursing home or an assisted living facility,” says Martin Rosen, executive vice president and cofounder of Health Advocate. “Other reasons for considering professional help for parent include if he/she has memory problems, has physical limitations and is prone to falls, and/ or has side effects from multiple medications.”
Third, adopt a respectful, concerned tone when discussing the transition to senior housing.
When a transition becomes necessary and it comes time to have the discussion, experts recommend that children of aging parents adopt a respectful, concerned tone when broaching the subject of a transition to assisted living or a nursing home.
“The first thing you have to get across is that you are having this conversation because you love them,” says Amy Goyer, AARP’s home and family expert. “You want them to be as independent as possible for as long as possible. You want them to be safe. You want them to be happy. You want them to be healthy.” Ensure they understand that you care for them and only want the best for them.
Lastly, when considering where to transition a parent, be sure to consider their wishes and who they are as an individual.
Ask where they’d like to live and think about where they live now and have in the past. That is, consider their lifestyle and the surroundings they’re comfortable and familiar with. Try to relocate them to a similar environment, if possible. That will make the transition more smooth and agreeable to you and your senior loved one.
If it has come time to transition a parent or other senior loved one into a senior apartment, independent-living, assisted-living, or other continuing-care community, visit alternativesforseniors.com to assist your search. Alternatives for Seniors is a print and online directory that specifically caters to the housing and personal care concerns of senior citizens and their families. You can also call our Senior Specialists at (888) WE-ASSIST (888-932-7747).
BLOG Date: January 29, 2015
Writer: Ryan Allen