Senior Humor – Laughter

Laughter is the best medicine

Humor and laughter help us remain young at heart. Jokes and comedy provide a ray of levity and lightness in our lives. As a way to help our readers remain smiling, each month we thought we’d share a few simple jokes related to seniors and aging.

Here is your installment of humor for August:

 

An older fellow fell in love with a lady. He got down on his knees and told her there were two things he would like to ask her. She replied, "OK." He said, "Will you marry me?" She replied, "Yes," then she asked what his second question was. He replied, "Will you help me up?"

 

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Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club. "We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair, so I'm wearing black," said Mrs. Smith. "Oh my," said Mrs. Jones, "I'd better not go."

 

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"Now, Ms. Lyons," the doctor said, "you say you have shooting pains in your neck, dizziness, and constant nausea. Just for the record, how old are you?" "Why, I'm going to be 39 on my next birthday," the woman replied indignantly. "Hmmm," muttered the doctor, "Got a slight loss of memory, too."

 

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An older woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had taken. The lady replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, "I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store." The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied, "Nine." The judge said, "Well then, I'm going to give you nine days in jail--one day for each peach." As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady's husband raised his hand and asked if he might speak. The judge said, "Yes, what do you have to add?" The husband said, "Your honor, she also stole a can of peas."