5 Ways to Manage Caregiver Guilt
06/06/2013
Don’t let caregiver guilt stress you out
Quite often, as a caregiver for an elderly person, guilty thoughts enter our mind. We wonder if we’re helping our senior loved one enough. We wonder if we’re taking the right actions on their behalf. We wonder and worry because we’re responsible people and we care. It’s ok to turnover guilty thoughts in one’s head, but it’s best to let those thoughts go. Don’t let them eat you up inside. Caregiver Guilt can breed anxiety, stress, and depression, but only if you let it. 5 sources of caregiver guilt and how to manage them Writer Ayn Rand said, “The worst guilt is to accept an unearned guilt.” Those who care for the elderly, who are trying their best to help the aging, shouldn’t burden themselves with unearned guilt. After all they’re trying to help. And guilt is manageable if you change the way you think. The following are 5 common sources of caregiver guilt along with suggestions from FamilyCaregiverStressRelief.com for how to focus your thoughts and energy in a more positive direction to help reduce guilt and stress. 5 sources of caregiver guilt and how to manage them: - Feeling guilty for not spending more time with an aging loved one When your loved one begs you to stay longer or visit more often, it can send you on a caregiver guilt trip. Yet, trying to satisfy all the demands of work, family and everything else will only stress you out. Instead... Try to make the time you spend together as meaningful as possible. Spread cheer, share memories, or take in an activity together. For the times you can’t be there, consider how a companionship service could help. You won’t feel as guilty if your senior loved one has someone coming on a regular basis who can provide conversation, facilitate activities, help with daily chores, and provide transportation.
- Feeling guilty for losing your patience Aging parents or other seniors you care for will try your patience from time to time. No one’s perfect. But there are more productive ways to handle impatience than to feel guilty about it. Instead... If you feel like you’re reaching the end of your rope, use that as a warning sign that you need to take a break and rest. Patience typically wears thin when you’re worn out and exhausted. It’s important to care for yourself so you can be your best for your loved one when they need you most.
- Feeling guilty for taking some time for yourself You may feel it’s your duty to devote all your time and energy to caring for your elderly loved one, but the truth is you shouldn’t ignore your own needs. Instead... Take good care of yourself so you’re able to sustain the love and care you feel your loved one deserves. Balance your beloved senior’s needs with your own.
- Feeling guilty for putting your loved one in a nursing home Maybe you think it’s not what your parent would have wanted, or you wonder if there is more you could’ve done to keep them at home. But more likely than not, if you were able to make such a hard decision, and conclude that a nursing home was the best option, then it was the right decision to make. Instead... Do what you can to make your parent’s time at the nursing home as comfortable as possible. Visit as often as you can and make your visits meaningful. Bring photos and decorations to personalize the room. This will help you ease the feelings of guilt.
- Feeling guilty for getting angry or frustrated Emotions like anger or frustration are just as natural as emotions of joy and love. You have a right to feel how you feel. It can be stressful to keep negative emotions buried inside. And being a caregiver can be a very trying experience. Instead... Find a safe outlet for your emotions. Vent to a friend, diffuse strong feelings through exercise, punch a pillow, or find a secluded place to have a good cry. You may also find some helpful tips at FamilyCaregiverStressRelief.com.